Every couple has its own special secrets of a happy marriage and scientists from Cornell University even believe they’ve developed a formula for a perfect marriage. Another study, published in the Social Networks and Life Course points out that long-term marriages (20+ years) are happier by default. But what do you do if you aren’t in that category yet and have serious doubts your relationship will last?
That’s when you need to employ the secret tricks of maintaining a happy marriage that go beyond scheduled cuddle time and learning to communicate.
5 Secrets of a Happy Marriage That Might Save Your Relationship
1. Agree to disagree
There’s this idealistic picture that talking things through will always resolve all issues to both spouses’ perfect satisfaction.
It won’t.
The most important rule of maintaining a happy marriage is to accept that you will never agree 100% on some things and that’s okay. It’s normal to have your own opinions that might be different from your partner. After all, both of you are independent and intelligent adults.
The most important thing is to accept these differences instead of starting a conflict over them. So, you won’t be able to persuade your spouse about some things ever, but are these few issues really worth sacrificing all the good in your relationship over?
2. Learn your partner’s preferences in bed and romance
Every person has a unique way to express love in both lovemaking and everyday life. They also have unique preferences and good spouses should know those as well as they know their own. The reason is simple, knowing these little details about each other will make your relationship much more satisfying both sexually and emotionally.
As you grow older, physical aspects of your relationship might need some aids, like aphrodisiacs, lube, or fast acting male enhancement pills. Using those with your knowledge of exactly how to satisfy your partner will ensure that your sex life remains full and immensely satisfying, which researchers say, is one of the secrets of a happy marriage.
3. Take responsibility for your faults
It takes two people to build a relationship so if it’s crumbling, both parties are responsible for this in some way. Yet, too often spouses focus on blaming each other. If you want to keep the marriage alive, you have to take responsibility for your personal faults and anything you might have done to contribute to your perilous situation.
This is an extremely difficult step and it’s best to use the help of a family therapist to sort out the actual blame and learn to accept it. Having a mediator is a great help in this.
4. Put the fantasy to rest
Do you have some picture of what a perfect marriage should be? Get it out of your head at once. One of the main secrets of a happy marriage is having no preconceptions of what makes it. You need to assess your relationship as it is and make choices that will bring the happiness to you and your partner both.
Trying to push your marriage into some fantasy frame of idyllic happiness will never allow this as there are no two identical pictures like this. Instead, if you want to be happy, discuss what exactly makes you happy and what you expect from your partner. With both spouses voicing these ‘requirements’ you’ll have something you can develop the shape of your perfect marriage from.