In the US, about 1 in 4 children live with only one parent. That’s the highest single-parent household rate in the world!
But divorces happen. And when they do, it’s important that both parents still give their children the best upbringing possible.
So here are 9 tips for raising your child after a divorce:
1. Talk about the divorce
First of all, talk to your child about the divorce. Though it’s a hard subject to broach, your child shouldn’t be left in the dark about it once the decision is final.
Of course, the news will be difficult to hear. The child may feel neglected or abandoned. So reassure them of your love and let them know you will still be there for them. And be prepared to have many talks since handling a divorce usually takes time.
2. Let your child cope
Children handle divorce in different ways. Some will feel grief, sadness, anger, resentment, or even relief. Whatever your child’s feelings are, acknowledge them and allow the child to cope with them. This means letting them vent, cry, or even be alone if that’s what’s needed. The key is to be there for them emotionally.
3. Let children be children
Protect your child from any conflict between you and your ex. Don’t involve them in adult problems. That will only cut their childhood short when it’s already been damaged by divorce. Let children be children.
4. Work together with the other parent
Work together with your ex. Communicate openly with them. It may be hard, but open communication is key to successful co-parenting.
After all, you’ll need to make important decisions together like when each parent gets to have the child, who’s responsible for taking them to and from school, and so on.
Try not to argue over every decision. Separate your issues as a couple from your common responsibility to raise your child.
5. Show respect for the other parent
Always show respect for the other parent, especially in front of the child. Badmouthing your ex will only make the child feel even more conflicted than they already are. Don’t add to the tension.
6. Get outside help
Co-parenting isn’t easy. So ask friends, family, and others to help you. There’s no need to be embarrassed about asking for help.
Consider investing in family mediation, divorce coaching, and a family law lawyer to help settle child support, custody, and visitation rights.
Also, try to maintain your child’s support community from school, church, sports teams, and more. This adds some needed stability to their lives.
7. Take care of your personal health
It’s important to take care of your personal health. This helps you and your child who depends on you.
So get therapy or counseling for your mental and emotional health. And exercise and maintain a healthy diet to take care of your physical health.
8. Educate yourself
Keep learning about best co-parenting practices from books and other online resources. You could even take a class. Anything to help you better navigate the difficult challenge of co-parenting after a divorce.
9. Be there for your children
Your child needs you. So don’t allow the divorce to separate you from them. Be there for them as a reliable and constant support. Whatever you do, put the child first. After all, they did not choose the divorce, and yet they must bear many of the consequences.
Ultimately, successful co-parenting after divorce requires maintaining a meaningful routine relationship with your child and shielding them from parental conflict. If you can do those two things, you’ve won half the battle.