Communication can be a challenge for parents who separate. Everyone is in the midst of big adjustments and you probably have mixed feelings about your ex. And yet you are forced to keep communicating with another for the sake of your kid(s).
Proper communication is needed to ensure your children continue to grow up happy, healthy and without experiencing too much conflict. Here are some tips for smooth co-parent communication so that you and your ex can raise your children effectively.
Create a Plan Prior to the Divorce
Many individuals want to hurry up and finalize the divorce without discussing every detail of the future arrangements. Creating a thoughtful parenting plan before the divorce is final is a great way for both parents to be on the same page. Make a plan for daily care, special occasions, etc… as well as plans for how to resolve any issues that may arise.
Keep Communication Professional
Treating your co-parent with respect just as you would a colleague helps support clear and effective communication. Keep conversations professional by being polite and kind, with the main focus on the children.
Create boundaries to ensure everything stays cordial, resembling a business partnership. If speaking with your ex is a problem due to tension, you can use texting or emails to communicate. Be sure to stay disciplined within your writing to not create a negative “tone” and help avoid conflict.
Conflict can be made virtually impossible if you communicate in a controlled way. The Easy Parent Communication Plan from Timtab is a digital communication system to prevent any conflict whatsoever. The Plan provides three documents: a set of rules for your communication, an information notice for the other parent, and a legal document for any mediation or court proceedings.
Do Not Argue or Bad Mouth Around the Children
Disagreements will happen from time to time and should be kept between the parents only. Arguing in front of the kids will cause a lot of stress for them and can lead to more problems further down the road. If you and your ex are feeling heated, stop the conversation and wait for it to be solved peacefully.
Not bad mouthing your ex is another factor in effective communication. Children constantly hearing negative things about one of their parents can be damaging to their well-being, so this needs to be avoided.
Focus Only on the Kids
While communicating, the only topic is the children and how to manage their lives. Keeping the focus where it should be can prevent arguments while allowing to discuss necessary information pertaining to the kids.
Make sure you are listening to your ex as well. The number one priority is the well-being of your children, so that should be front and center in all conversations.
Be Prepared to Compromise
With all relationships, even slightly or very broken ones, compromise plays a large roll to ensure things run smoothly. If you are cooperative, your ex will most likely return the favor. Work together to find the middle ground where both of you can be in agreement. Compromising is a way to keep the focus on the kids and another way to avoid conflict.
To properly co-parent children, good communication is necessary. Remember that the kids are top priority and should always be the main focus to ensure their best well-being. These tips can help make communication smoother and lead to a successful relationship with everyone involved.