It’s been the best week of your life: Sipping coconut drinks in the shade, you and your new husband have never gotten along so well. On the beaches of Aruba, you’ve planned out a whole life together. Still, you can’t shake that voice in your head: What will it be like after the honeymoon?
On the honeymoon, it’s easy to think married life must be all sunshine and roses. But for most couples, the real world catches up. Laundry piles up. Long days at work take their toll.
Don’t let the joy of the honeymoon disappear when you hop on the flight home. Housework has to get done and bills have to get paid, but through it all, you can keep that flame alive. Here’s how to do it:
1. Start every day with love
How you and your husband start each day sets the tone. You may not have time for a full-on snuggle session on weekday mornings, but there are plenty of small things you can do to make one another feel loved.
Make physical touch part of your morning ritual. Even small touches release oxytocin, often called the “love hormone.” Spend a few minutes together before getting out of bed. Hold hands. Give each other a brief massage.
2. Be playful
During the daily grind, it’s easy to forget the value of play. Relationships aren’t all about whose turn it is to do the dishes. Think about all the ways dishes alone can be made more fun: Play a game of 20 questions, listen to a podcast you both enjoy, or even start a suds fight.
Don’t forget to spend time with other couples you enjoy, either. Pick one couple to invite over for dinner once a week. Why not kick back with a glass of wine and take turns answering newlywed questions? Do a double date out every once in a while.
3. Show appreciation
Everyone wants to feel appreciated, especially from his or her significant other. Don’t underestimate the value of “thank you.” Give small gifts, especially when your partner isn’t expecting it.
Take the time to learn each other’s love languages. Reward your partner when he takes a tough or unpleasant task off your plate. If quality time is your husband’s top language, enjoy a romantic dinner together when he finishes repainting the dining room.
4. Cut each other some slack
Hard times happen to every couple. When a pipe bursts at home because your husband forgot to leave the heat on over a holiday trip, don’t make matters worse by blowing up at him. If he screws up a sale at work and loses a commission check you were both expecting, remind him that it’s only money.
Sooner or later, you’ll make a similar mistake. If you take bad news in stride, he’ll do the same when the shoe is on the other foot. Support each other, and see how much easier those tough times get.
5. Designate a date night
When couples get married, dates often fall by the wayside. Keep the romance alive by enjoying those happy-go-lucky nights together once a week.
What you do together doesn’t matter as long as you both enjoy it. Go to a movie. Race go-karts late into the night. Take a walk and just talk to each other. Wherever you live, there are dozens of ways to enjoy a few hours out together.
6. Plan a new adventure
No matter how much you enjoy life at home together, every couple needs an adventure to look forward to. Relive the honeymoon at least once a year. Take a long weekend, or even a full week, to explore a new environment together.
Adventures don’t have to be expensive or far from home. Spend a few days in a nearby national park. Book a hotel room in your hometown and play tourist together. Pick the cheapest flight available on the days you both have off, and see what that city has to offer.
Your honeymoon may be over, but your life together is just beginning. Enjoy it. The real world is only as much of a drag as you make it.