More and more women are choosing to take their future into their own hands and leave relationships that no longer fulfil them or make them happy. One study found that 63.1% divorces between mixed gender couples were initiated by women in 2021.
If you’re thinking about ending a relationship, it can be a difficult decision. You might find yourself filled with doubts. But once you have made a final decision, you will start to see your future opening up and opportunities becoming clearer. If you’re going through a breakup, consider the following advice from women who have gone through this before you.
Concept of misunderstanding and communicative problem between two senior people, they are standing back to back, isolated on grey background
Prioritise your health
When you are going through an emotionally taxing time, it can be easy to fall into despair and stop taking care of yourself. This will ultimately make the breakup more difficult, as you might find yourself leaning on unhealthy habits.
Try to prioritise your health during this time and treat yourself with kindness. Start with making sure you get enough sleep and a nutritious diet. On the days where you feel like you can’t do anything, try getting outside for a walk in nature. This can help to lift your mood and help you to tackle the more difficult tasks ahead.
Lean on your support system
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. When you end a relationship, it can feel like you have made a decision to upend your life, and so it’s your responsibility to deal with everything. This isn’t the case and the people around you will want to help.
Help means different things to different people. Some people want support with the practical tasks, like moving house and getting settled in their new home. Other people simply want someone to talk to and share their fears with. You don’t have to handle a breakup alone, so make sure you lean on your support system of family and friends.
If you find a breakup to be isolating – either because you have a shared friendship group, or your family doesn’t agree with your decision – use this as a time to branch out and make new friends. You could take up a social sport or join a book club to meet new people.
Protect yourself legally
Understanding your legal position and what you are entitled to will stop you from going with the flow when it comes to the legal separation. If you are planning to remain in the home you share, keep in mind that you will need to keep making the mortgage payments alone if you want to avoid having your home repossessed.
Even if you go through something like Splitting Up with your partner, you still need to be financially savvy and aware of what is happening to avoid making your situation worse. Speak to a solicitor or financial advisor if you need advice and support on the next steps.
Don’t keep kids in the dark
Children are naturally intuitive and will know that something is amiss. Rather than keep them in the dark, be open about the end of the relationship and reassure them that both parents still love them dearly. It’s common for children to blame themselves for their parent’s breakup. It’s important that they find reassurance when they look for it.
Allow your children to ask questions and be as honest as possible in your response. While it will be disruptive for your children in the short-term, a break up will be better for them in the long-term. Growing up in an unhappy home where neither parent is satisfied will be more damaging that splitting their time between two loving and happy homes.