Have you ever been in a conversation where someone asks you a thoughtful question—only to immediately start talking about themselves? Welcome to the world of Boomerasking, a sneaky communication trend that’s turning everyday chats into one-person shows.
And no, it has nothing to do with Baby Boomers. This behavior knows no age limit—it’s a communication habit anyone can fall into.
What Exactly Is Boomerasking?
Boomerasking is a mashup of the words boomerang and asking. It describes a situation where someone throws out a question, but not because they genuinely care about your answer. Instead, they’re just setting themselves up for a monologue.
They ask the question like a boomerang, only to catch it themselves with a long-winded story or unsolicited advice.
Spotting the Signs: Boomerasking in Action
You’ve probably experienced it without realizing there’s a name for it. Here are some classic Boomerasking setups:
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“How do you deal with stress? I’ve actually developed this great method…”
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“Have you ever made a decision you regretted? I once had this situation where…”
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“What’s your take on remote work? Personally, I’ve known since the 2000s that…”
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“Reading anything good lately? I just finished a book that totally changed my mindset…”
In each case, the question is just bait. The real goal? Making the conversation all about them.
The Boomerasking Formula
Most Boomerasking follows a familiar structure:
Step 1: The Decoy Question
It sounds like genuine interest—“How do you handle presenting at work?”
Step 2: The Hijack
Within seconds, the questioner launches into their own story.
Step 3: The Monologue
You’re now in a solo podcast episode you didn’t sign up for.
Step 4: The Subtle Flex
The story often ends with a humblebrag or a subtle comparison.
Why Is Boomerasking a Problem?
Boomerasking might seem harmless, but it can quickly turn a two-way exchange into a frustrating, one-sided performance.
Victims of Boomerasking often experience the following:
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“Nice, they’re asking about me!”
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“Wait… they’re not really listening.”
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“Now I’m stuck in a story I didn’t ask for.”
According to The Wall Street Journal, Boomerasking is one of the biggest communication traps of our time. A Harvard study even found that people who dominate conversations without listening are perceived as more self-centered and less empathetic—traits that can damage relationships both personally and professionally.
How to Handle Boomerasking Like a Pro
If someone in your team, social circle, or family constantly hijacks conversations, here are some respectful ways to steer things back:
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Call it with kindness:
“Ah, looks like you’ve answered the question already—but can I share my take too?” -
Redirect playfully:
“Thanks for the intro! Now let me give you my perspective.” -
Use gentle humor:
“Appreciate both the question and the TED Talk—now here’s what I think…” -
Jump in confidently:
“Let me just add my view real quick before we move on…”
The key is to stay calm, direct, and a little witty—especially if it’s someone in a leadership role or close relationship.
Can Boomeraskers Change?
Here’s the thing: if someone always Boomerasks, chances are they’re not really listening. But sometimes, a gentle nudge can help them realize the pattern. If you think the relationship is worth it, speaking up might just spark a shift.
But if you’re constantly stuck in someone else’s monologue with zero interest in your thoughts? It might be time to protect your energy.
Boomerasking is a subtle form of self-promotion disguised as curiosity. And once you learn to spot it, you’ll see it everywhere—from the workplace to your weekend brunches.
Real conversations are built on listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak. So ask questions, but ask because you care—and make space for answers that aren’t your own.