Life doesn’t always go the way we wanted it to, and we may find that a relationship we thought we would be in for the rest of our lives didn’t work out. It can tough to know where to start in terms of finances, personal items, and your emotions when this happens, especially if it was unexpected. If you have just come out of a long-term relationship, especially one where you were engaged or married, cleaning up your life can aid in the healing process and allow you to move on. Here’s how to get started.
Your Finances
If you were married, a divorce can deeply impact your financial situation. Unfortunately, divorce costs a lot of money, much more than many couples realize when saying “I do”. If the cost of divorce is piling on top of you, it may be time to look at curbing your spending and selling old clutter. Being constantly reminded of the finances that come along with your break-up makes it even harder to move on and is something that should be dealt with as soon as you possibly can.
When I decided to sell my engagement ring, it not only helped rid me of the constant reminder that things didn’t work out, it also helped in paying towards my divorce. Although it is a hard decision selling something so personal, the cash was more important at the time and I knew I needed to be tough with myself.
Your Home
It is easier to rid yourself of the reminders in your home than to forget about your relationship, but you will find over time it helps. Keeping items that remind you of your relationship could harm the healing process and although it can be tough letting go, cleaning these out of your home is a big step in moving on.
If you are on speaking terms with your ex, see if they can come and collect their items from your home. If you are not and they aren’t bothered about their possessions, put them in a box and take them to a charity shop. This way you are providing something good from a bad situation and once they are gone you may feel like a small weight has been lifted. You could also use a selling site if any of the possessions are worth a bit of cash.
Your Emotions
Cleaning up your emotions is going to take a lot longer than cleaning up possessions or finances. Unlike items, our emotions cannot be moved out or sold. We have to learn to work through them until we find the light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone deals with breakups in different ways, some by going out with their friends, others stay at home watching their favorite sitcoms.
One important factor in dealing with your emotions is to never compare yourself to someone else. Some people are a lot better at hiding how they feel than others. Being overcome with toxic feelings will only negatively impact you and stop you from moving on. Dr. Thaik, came up with six steps to cleaning up your emotions and moving on when it didn’t work out. Try it.
Ridding yourself of constant reminders of your past relationship is one way to clean up your life and your mind. Emotions will take a lot longer to pass but keeping yourself busy with friends, your children or work will aid in this process. Selling items you no longer need after the relationship is a way to be more financially prepared for the future and cleans out any physical baggage that came along with the break-up.