The over-50s is a very lucrative dating market. One UK study has found that older daters are boosting the economy by a whopping £664 million. In the US, this is likely to be a similar pattern as divorce rates for older Americans continue to rise. Indeed, the number of over-50s filing for divorce in the US has doubled since 1990, as staying together until “death us do part” is no longer expected. Many of those who subsequently file for divorce enter the world of online dating – but unlike their children and grandchildren, they are less prepared.
Dating is a different world and for many over-50s, online dating sites like Tinder are a shock to the system. Nevertheless, plenty of older people do decide to sign up to dating sites. There is no longer a stigma attached to meeting people online and in an increasingly connected world, dating sites make it possible to talk to people who you wouldn’t ordinarily meet. But, despite the advantages, there are a few risks that you need to be aware of.
Watch Out for Scammers
The internet is full of scammers and the over-50s are statistically more likely to fall for a scammer masquerading as an attractive single person. There is a common misconception that victims of dating site scams are naïve and/or foolish, but this is not the case. There are plenty of intelligent men and women who have been taken in by charming, manipulative conmen and women. It can happen to anyone.
There were 3,889 UK victims of online dating fraud in 2016. These people handed over £39 million to fraudsters. It’s a shocking figure, but that number doesn’t take into account the victims who never reported their losses because of shame and embarrassment. In the US, FBI data reveals that 82% of romance scam victims are women aged 50 and over. Many of these women are lonely and vulnerable following a divorce or losing a spouse and they are the perfect target for predatory internet scammers.
Take, for example, a Texas woman fresh out of an abusive marriage, who ended up sending $2 million to a man called “Charlie” who she had never even met. Two Nigerian men were convicted of defrauding her and sentenced to two years in jail, but the money was long gone.
Be aware of such scams and always maintain some degree of objectivity when contacted by someone who appears to be perfect or too good to be true. Most scammers work very hard to build trust before they ask for money. Never send money to someone you haven’t met and if you are unsure about a dating paramour, ask your friends and loved ones for advice, as they are less likely to be taken in by romantic poetry and flattery.
Beware of STDs
The over-50s are more at risk of catching a sexually transmitted infection than any other age group and infections in the silver singles group are rising fast. This should come as no surprise given the soaring divorce rate. Many older women don’t think about using barrier contraception when they start a new sexual relationship because an unwanted pregnancy is no longer an issue. Indeed, many older people naively think STDs don’t apply to them. They assume that infections such as Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Herpes are only applicable to young, promiscuous people in their 20s and 30s, but this is not the case.
Sadly, anyone is at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease if they have unprotected sex. Just because this is a deeply romantic encounter with your first sexual partner in 30 years, it doesn’t mean that you won’t end up with genital warts or a raging case of herpes.
It is very important that you practice safe sex once you start dating again. Yes, it can be embarrassing talking about condoms when you have sex for the first time in forever, but would you rather be visiting a sexual health clinic instead? If it’s too late and the horse has already bolted from the stable, don’t panic. Chances are you will be fine, but if you need some info regarding free STD testing, check this resource or speak to your primary care physician.
Personal Safety
The days of meeting a date in the local ice cream parlor, safe in the knowledge that your family is friends with theirs, is long gone. Online dating means talking to random people who may not even live in the same city as you.
Don’t let internet communication lull you into a false sense of security. Be careful not to give too much personal information away, speak on a cell phone rather than your home phone, and always arrange to meet a date in a public place until you get to know them better. Most people are honest, upstanding citizens looking for love, just like you. But there is a small minority of people who don’t have your best interests at heart, so be careful and take your time in getting to know someone.
If anything doesn’t feel “right”, listen to your sixth sense and ditch the person sharpish.
Grow a Thick Skin
One safety issue that you may not have even considered is the potential damage to your self-esteem. Online dating can be brutal. It’s easy to feel slighted when the nice man or woman you have been talking to for a few weeks suddenly drops you like a hot potato. You might also find it hard to cope with rejection on a global scale when nobody replies to your messages.
The important thing is not to take it too personally. Just because you haven’t met anyone yet, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. Try to put it all in context and stay cheerful. Online dating is just one way to meet new people. Be yourself and if other people don’t seem to appreciate your great qualities, that’s their loss, not yours.
Online dating is fun at any age, but make sure you follow the advice above so you have a positive experience.