An open marriage is not everyone’s idea of a successful relationship. Most people embrace monogamy, most likely because this is the society’s accepted idea of a marriage. If you want to try an open relationship and you are not sure how to bring up the topic to your partner, here are some ways to ask them to give up on a traditional marriage, at least for some time.
An open relationship means that both partners are free to engage in sexual relationships with other people. These can be purely sexual or even emotional, depending on the rules agreed by the two partners. Opening up your relationship takes time, especially when you have to bring up the idea to your partner. Don’t rush things, as this can quickly backfire. Give them time to get accustomed with the concept of an open marriage. For some people it takes months to accept the idea of an open relationship.
Start by mentioning the open relationship
Before you engage in serious, in depth discussions about an open marriage, just mention it to your partner. Don’t say you want an open marriage at this point, just mention the term and encourage your partner to find out what is an open relationship by reading books or watching movies. You can also browse dedicated sites, like Ashley Madison, where you can find more information about open marriages and their specific rules.
Give examples
After first mentioning the open marriage, you can start talking about other people who are happy in this type of relationship. You might know friends who pursue these unconventional partnerships or you can just mention celebrities who confessed they are in open marriages. By giving examples you are helping your partner see that an open relationship is not something scary and is not something that leads to divorce; quite the opposite.
Explain what an open relationship is
After your partner got the first hints, you can start to talk about an open relationship. Explain what it is and why it would be beneficial for your marriage to switch to such an arrangement. You might want to use it to spice things up after a long marriage or just to get some diversity – either ways; you need to explain to your partner why you want to pursue an open marriage.
This is also the best moment to address their worries, as they might feel you just want to break up or that you don’t love them anymore.
Be honest
As I said in the beginning, don’t rush into an open relationship. After bringing up the idea to your partner, leave some time before you actually take the decision. It’s very important to be honest! Set your own rules, as each couple decides what is acceptable and what is not in their relationship. When you set the rules, make sure both of you are ok with them. Don’t push your partner into something they don’t want!
Making a lifestyle change is not easy, especially when it involves two people. Take your time, be honest, be patient and show your partner you love them no matter what. Be ready to accept your partner’s decision, be it a positive or a negative one.