So, you’ve successfully found someone who makes “together forever” sound like a fine idea, you’ve mutually consented to tie the knot (fairly important), and after much decision paralysis you’ve chosen a date and a venue for your big day. The hard work is over, right?
Hold your proverbial horses. You still need to send out invitations, and navigating the nuances of wedding invitation etiquette can be surprisingly tricky. Thankfully, we’re here to help. Here are the answers to the top ten invitation etiquette questions.
1. What Are The Most Important Details to Include on The Invitation?
Elegantly designed invites and fancy typography are of no use to anyone if the essential information isn’t included! Here are the most important details your guests need to know:
- The date and time of the wedding
- The address of the venue, for both the ceremony and reception
- Which parts of the day the guest is invited to, (either the reception, or both the ceremony and reception)
- RSVP information – make sure you’re specific about how the guest should reply. If you’re not sending out an RSVP card, then include an email address or phone number
- RSVP deadline – to avoid any last minute capacity hiccups!
2. Who Should My Invitation Be From?
Traditionally the bride’s parents are the hosts of the wedding, and in this case it’s customary to list their names at the top of the invite, for example:
“Mr. and Mrs Galloway request the honor of your presence at the marriage of Susan & John Smith.”
There are, however, exceptions to this rule. The Arabic custom is that the groom and his family pays for the wedding. In Sweden wedding guests pay for their own food and drinks to help with the overall wedding costs, which is similar to the Japanese tradition whereby wedding guests pay an attendance fee.
3. What If My Parents Are Divorced But They’re Still Paying For The Wedding Together?
The correct way to format an invitation in this situation is to have the name of the bride’s parents at the top of the invite, with the mother’s name on the first line and the father’s name on the line below. Don’t bridge the names with the word “and.” If the mother hasn’t remarried, make sure to use the title “Ms.”
4. What If We’re Paying For Our Own Wedding?
If you’re close with your parents, it’s still a nice idea to honour them at the top of the invitation. This is more important if you’re having a traditional ceremony. However, it’s still perfectly acceptable if you want to address the invitation as being from just the bride and groom.
5. How Do We Ask Our Guests Not To Bring Their Children?
While it is reasonable to add a “no children please” line to the invitation, it’s sometimes more polite to just talk to any guests who have children directly. A quick phone call to explain that the venue isn’t suitable for kids will be less blunt than just writing “no children” on the invitation.
6. Should I Include an RSVP Card?
It is tradition for couples to include a response card for guests to fill out and post back to them. This is also a good place to ask about any food choices your guests might have. If you have a wedding website, you can instead ask people to RSVP on there, but it’s still a nice touch to include the website URL on a separate RSVP card.
7. When Should We Send Out Our Invitations?
Wedding invitations are typically sent six to eight weeks before the wedding so guests have enough time to make arrangements. If you’re pushing the boat out and planning on having your wedding abroad, then be sure to give your guests at least three months’ notice.
8. Should I Send A Save The Date Card?
Save the date cards are a great way to announce your wedding and get the word out about the event. They usually get sent out around three to four months before the wedding day, which gives your guests plenty more time to clear their schedules. We especially recommend sending them if you’re planning to get married abroad, your guests will have more time to start putting money aside for the trip!
9. I Have A Limited Amount Of Space, Am I Obliged To Invite All My Guests With A Plus-One?
If your guest isn’t married or in a long term relationship, you’re under no obligation to include a plus-one. If you have room to spare then go for it, but don’t stress if not. Guests will usually assume that if you don’t explicitly mention a plus-one on the invitation then they should come on their own. If they ask to bring another person and you don’t have room, just explain that you’re having a smaller wedding and unfortunately you can’t extend a plus-one to everybody.
10. How Should We Inform Guests Of The Dress Code?
Your invitation cards are the perfect to place to specify what attire is desired for your wedding. Classic wedding dress codes include cocktail dresses/suits, a black tie, and casual attire. Your choice of venue and the kind of atmosphere you want to create at your wedding should inform your choices here. By including the dress code in the lower right-hand corner of the invite you will avoid any embarrassing incidents of over or under dressing.
And finally, once you’ve honed all of these essential details, you’ll need to decide on the actual wedding invitations they’re written on. To communicate the perfect look and feel of your big day with your friends and family, you may want to consider personalised wedding invitations from Rosemood.
Wedding invitation etiquette may seem like a daunting subject, and it might feel like yet another thing to consider when planning your wedding. But, if you follow our advice then you’ll be well on your way to a beautiful day surrounded by the people you care about most.