From the moment your children are born, you know that you’re not going to be their parents forever but for the time that you are their parents, you’re going to love them and care for them with every power in your being. Death is a conversation subject that’s hard to talk about for lots of people, especially when it comes to planning your children’s future but it’s a very necessary conversation to have with your spouse or loved ones.
As parents, you don’t want to have to think of dying and what will happen to your kids. You know that it’s inevitable but you don’t want to think of it happening unexpectedly and need to figure out who will take care of them in your absence… but to at least get the discussion out of the way, you’ll want to create a power of attorney (POA).
This is simply a legal document that gives one person the authority to make life decisions for you in the event that you become incapacitated or die. If you do become incapacitated or die, your POA will be able to handle your affairs the way you would want them to be handled, including designating your children with the legal guardian you wanted them to be with in your absence. A judge will, of course, have the final say-so.
The person you want to be your children’s legal guardian needs to be documented in your will and testament so that there is legal documentation of your wishes.
a parent holds the hand of a small child
Choosing the Right Legal Guardian
Although this is a tough topic to discuss, it’s not something to be taken so lightly by the parents or the legal guardian. As a parent, you want to carefully select a legal guardian/guardians for your children. By law, if one parent dies, full custody will go to the other parent, unless deemed unfit. But if both parents, die, you want to make sure you’re choosing the right person to care for your children because they ultimately will become their new or substitute parents, in a sense.
In making your decision, you can’t just pick someone because you know them… there are very important factors to consider in choosing the right person to take care of your children after you’ve gone. Ideally, you would want someone to care for them who lived in an area where they could go to the same school and in the same neighborhood… in attempts to keep some things in their life as normal as possible. According to kidshealth.org, kids need this type of continuity to cope with the loss of a parent or parents.
Unfortunately, things don’t always work out that way and everyone doesn’t have the luxury of having a wide selection of potential guardians to choose from. Your first mind tells you to go with family first but depending on your family’s dynamics, that’s not always the best option. You have to look at other qualities in a person to help you determine who the best guardian will be.
This is also something you want to do sooner than later before it’s too late. Doing this sooner than late ris so important because if you were to unexpectedly pass without documenting this in a living will, you will have no say-so or control in who the judge appoints to care for and raise your children. So, instead of waiting, start looking at these qualities and characteristics in those closest to you to help you make a more informed decision.
Mental Health and Abilities
Mental health is an important factor to look at when choosing someone to take care of your kids after you’ve passed. Taking care of children at any age, whether they’re young children or teenagers, is a big responsibility. When it comes to a legal guardian, you want to ask yourself what’s their temperament like? Are they mature enough to handle certain situations?
The legal guardian you’re considering doesn’t have to be a saint or a Nobel Peace Prize winner but they do need to have the mental capacity to handle raising a child and all the complexities that come with it. Losing a parent can be very traumatic for a child and can trigger several emotions. How do you think the legal guardian you choose would be able to handle anxiety if it’s triggered? That’s something to think about because they can’t hand the child off to someone else…
Physical Health and Abilities
Physical health is also an important factor to consider. Taking care of children is very physically demanding, especially for smaller children. It’s a little easier with older kids but maybe the kids are involved in extracurricular activities and need to be transported to and from practice or games. It’s just a lot to consider for both parties.
Your Child’s Connection to the Potential Guardians
You, of course, want to look at the potential guardian’s physical and mental well-being but you also want to look at your child’s connection with those people. How do they act around them? Do they get along with them? Do they ask about them or want to go see them just because they enjoy spending time with them? You want your kids to live with and be raised by people they love and enjoy being around.
Financial Abilities
Can your prospects handle the financial responsibilities of raising a child? You hear people say all the time that kids are expensive and that you need to be financially prepared for them. Well, that statement holds true their entire lie for as long as you’re their parents… that responsibility is simply passed on to someone else in the event that you die.
Making Your Final Choice
All in all, the ultimate decision is up to you. There is no right and wrong answer here, you just have to base your decision on what factor matters most to you. And there are several more factors to consider… the above are just some of the top factors that people look at first and the most. Nobody knows your child better than you do so when you come across the right guardian you’ll know it and can find peace in knowing that they will be in good hands in your absence.