Think about the word “homewrecker”. Did you think of a man or a woman? When a cheating scandal happens, we all love to blame “the other woman”. No matter if it happens to some celebrity couple or right next door, we all love to hate “the other woman”? Have you ever wondered why “the other woman” always gets all the blame?
Let’s think about it:
1. We assume that guys are bad anyways
“There’s this assumption that men are dogs and women are the nice ones. When women do something bad, it’s easier to get mad at them because we think they’re acting outside their true nature,” explains Christine Hartman, Ph.D., a behavior scientist and relationship expert.
It’s like breaking the sacred code. The woman is always the evil bitch while the man is only accused of making a mistake. The reality is, the man is the one that has broken your heart and the trust between you.
2. It’s easier to hate the other woman
“The other woman is an easy target—especially if you don’t know her, or she’s not your friend. Hating the person you love that wronged you, on the other hand, is confusing. Putting the blame on him makes you address uncomfortable questions, like ‘what if our marriage is a sham?’ ‘Maybe he’s not who I think he is?’ ‘Am I going to be alone the rest of my life?’ And, most of the time, if we’re lashing out at her, it’s because we plan to stay but need a place to put our anger”, says psychologist Brandy Engler, Ph.D., author of The Men On My Couch.
3. We think that the woman tempted him
“The other woman” must have been tempting your man and that’s why it was so easy for him to cheat. There are million reasons why guys cheat and getting rid of one woman isn’t going to help you solve your problems.
“Rarely do guys cheat because their partner isn’t beautiful enough or the woman he cheated with is more beautiful—he’s usually acting out because he’s angry at his partner or hasn’t been getting his emotional or physical needs met,” says Engler.